The Rules

In case you're wondering what exactly I'm doing with this Bake Off blog, I thought I'd describe it. Basically, I'm going to be cooking along with the contestants, making one dish per week for the duration of the Great British Bake Off. I'll be following a few rules as I do so, which are here for your perusal:

1. Everything I make will be vegan. This isn't to make a point, it's just that I'm a vegan and it doesn't seem fair for me not to be able to eat what I make. I'm not going to preach about the benefits of veganism or anything, don't worry. I try not to be smug about how much better I am than literally everyone else.

2. I will aim to make the technical challenge each week, but I might choose a different dish if one interests me.

3. If I do choose a different bake, it will be Kim-Joy's as long as she is in the competition. This is because I knew her before she was famous, and I'm hoping to exploit her success.

4. I will not be observing the same time limits as they do on the show. I am a bad enough cook as it is, if you make me bake something in an hour I will burn my kitchen to the ground.

Hopefully you enjoy my rambling posts about my bullshit cooking. If you do, please feel free to share them and tell me about it, it's always nice to get compliments. If you absolutely loathe them and feel the need to yell at me about them, my name is Piers Morgan and you should absolutely come to my house to tell me in person.